The Top Ten Signs You've Got a Bad Broker
10. Has a serious disclaimer on his bottom.
9. Desk is littered with travel brochures.
8. He drinks decaf.
7. Keeps asking, "Do you want fries with that?"
6. Consults Digital Orrery before giving investment advice.
5. Fresh, minty taste.
4. Calls NASDAQ to ask about Step Reebok.
3. When asked about bonds, he reddens and replies, "I'm not that kind of broker."
2. He has a saggy diaper that leaks.
And the number one sign you've got a bad stockbroker...
Proudly displays UCSB diploma.
Last Modified: 1995 September 22