The Top Ten New "Tough on Crime" Proposals:
10. Appoint ex-Soviet skating judges to the federal bench
9. Murder Parents for their money and face possible retrial
8. Use a gun, go to grad school
7. Convieniently overlook 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 11th, 14th and 27th Amendments
6. "I forget" no longer acceptible congressional testimony
5. Ban crime
4. Bert I. Gordon
3. Zero-tolerance Lactose policy
2. Three Words: Special Agent Schwarzeneggar
And the number one new "Tough on Crime" Proposal...
Hey! Walk your bike!
Last Modified: 1995 June 17