The Top Ten Things About Being and Nth-Year Graduate Student

• 10. Seniority enables election to top GSA positions.

• 9. Forgotten more S-matrix theory than first-years will ever know.

• 8. Linda the barber gives "going bald" discounts.

• 7. Single-digit perm number easy to remember.

• 6. Grad student emeritus status means no TA duties.

• 5. Finally managed to forget what sex is.

• 4. Cheap movie tickets with combined student and senior discounts.

• 3. Born in decade that did not suck.

• 2. GSHIP special: 2-for-1 hip replacement!

  And the number one thing about being an nth-year graduate student...

• Jaded bitterness nicely complements futile, pathetic existence.