The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Advancement Committee

• 10. "What's your name again?"

• 9. "You're sure F=mv?

• 8. "Tell us about your mother."

• 7. "My student? I thought he was your student!"

• 6. "Frankly, I don't care about the characters."

• 5. "You know, you're wasting your life."

• 4. "HP no longer makes an imaginary-parts-of-Green's-functions meter."

• 3. "Can you put that in units I understand?"

• 2. "What do you think of my poetry?"

  And the number one thing you don't want to hear from your advancement committee...

• Do you know how big a duo-plasmatron is?